A Day in the Life of an American Desi Bachelor

• Shut off three alarm clocks before finally opening my eyes. [No Mom waking you up with a cup of a hot beverage of your choice.]
  
• Curse my stars while I make my bed. [No Mom again!]
• Make the beverage of my choice. [Read above.]
• Switch channels on my TV till I find traffic watch on one of the early morning news channels to see which freeways are clogged and what alternate routes to take, while drinking my beverage. [No reading the cartoons in the newspaper anymore. :(]
• Ponder over what has to be eaten for breakfast - Bread and Peanut Butter/Jam or a Plain Toast or a Bagel or hit the nearest fast food joint to eat the same. [Damn, I miss those Idlis and Dosas and Rottis!]
• Oh S***! It is 9AM already and I have a meeting at 10. Doh!!! [I miss your reminders mom.]
• God Dammit...my clothes aren't pressed. [So nice to be in a typical Indian joint family where there are a lot of people to take care of all your needs and demands. Why did I move here??]
• I hate this freeway. I should have taken the surface streets. It would have been faster. Maybe, I should move closer to the office. The rent is a little higher, but I won't have to go through all this. [Not quite a difference for Bangloreans or Mumbaiites.]
• (Whispering) Sorry boss. The freeway was clogged. I should avoid this freeway from now on. Errr...I have one question. What is this meeting about? [I don't have a Blackberry to remind me of meetings from home. How can I remember what the agenda of a meeting is? It is the company's fault!]
• Coffee Time! Dude, let's go to the 8th floor. The coffee machine is much better there.
• It is 12PM already. I haven't even checked my mails. [Will there be any interesting mail in my inbox that will brighten the rest my day up? How much I miss the forwards that were being circulated almost everyday in college! Damn corporate security. What harm can a jpg or a 2MB movie file do?]
• Why hasn't anyone sent me any mails? Have I been forgotten by all my buddies?
• Lunch Time! Fast food joint next to the office or the Indian restaurant which is a 20 minute drive away? [Tough choice! Hehehe...]
• Back to my e-mails.
• I hate the time difference. All the guys will be sleeping. No one to talk to. :((
• Yes Boss. Working on the bugs to be fixed. The Dev team will have them tonight. I will have a conf call with them and tell them to send us another build first thing tomorrow morning. [There goes my plans of having coffee with that cute BA.]
• Forget the build. I want to have coffee with her. Saunter to the nearest Starbucks.
• (On the phone) Dude, you will not believe where I am right now. Let me get back to the office and then I will give you the details. We will work on the bugs later.
  
• I better get working on the bugs. It will be my a** this time. [Coffee was awesome. Maybe, I should ask her out to dinner sometime.]
• Finally, a decent forward. Something nice in my inbox. [God bless you dude!]
• Will the boss notice me if I head home now? It is 530PM already. Maybe, I will stay back for a while and go for the happy hour with the rest of the folks. [Why are there so many bugs? Looks like I will have to work late from home if I have to get the build tomorrow morning!]
• Beer!
• More beer!
• Better drive slowly and carefully. [How much did I drink? How much will my BAC be? I think I am ok. I never worried about this back in India. How much I miss the binging at Peco's and Styx!]
• Where did all the food I cooked go? I possibly couldn't have eaten so much in just two days. I don't want to cook now. [I never ate leftover food in India. I miss you mom! I wonder if she will fly down here for a few days? Hmmm...I will call up and find out.]
• Oh S***! The conf call!!!!
• Why do the developers ask so many questions? It is the middle of the night here. They should understand our situation here.
• Let me hit the sack now. Tomorrow is going to be more hectic than today. [When should I ask that BA for dinner? This Friday maybe...]

P.S.: Most of these situations are fictitious. Don't make any assumptions as to which ones are not. I am pretty sure you will get it all wrong.